Heartbroken

What could have been. What should have been. To watch in sorrow. In painful misery to wallow. A 9 point gap that should have been established. A team of glory that should have flourished. Yet stolen away in its forth minute of gloom. By a French bastard’s head that brought doom.
My bleeding heart perched on my shirt. It hurts. It hurts.

Fear the Unknown…

[*this post will either make prefect sense or render total falsehood...(it depends really)*]

“Where would we be if throughout history, our greatest minds had feared that which they could not confirm? Embrace the unknown with caution, but not with fear.”

I exclaim the given quotation, as it delineates reality and depicts an understanding of perception. I say perception as often times fear is perceived as a dark and sinister sentiment that should be avoided in any and every circumstance. By and large, we find refuge in simply taking a step back when we are faced by potentially fearful situations, as the probability and perception of the unknown creates skepticism…skepticism which ascends into the inability to react, and thus, we choose not to go forth with its endeavor. In the classic Greek definitions (it’s amazing what I remember in literature classes), ‘horror’ is fear of the unknown, and if this is so, are we to be horrified of something before we even know there is something to be afraid of.

I often see it happen in various incidences around me…be it every student who ~fear the unknown~ results of an examination, friends around who ~fear the unknown~ repercussions and risks upon venturing into a new relationship with the opposite sex (or the same sex…*whichever suits your fancy*) or even the ‘terrified’ Americans on CNN who ~fear the unknown~ possibility of “war”!! Regardless, fear of the unknown somehow, in some way managed to cement a firm grip within us…and unfortunately, often times we allow the emotion to dictate our actions.

I divulge, I too suffer from this ‘disorder’ in more ways than one…and though I largely generalize, I’m also speaking in specifics about myself. I find it fascinating that we would rather not try something at all rather then try something and fail. If we tell ourselves and other around us that their best effort isn’t worthy enough, then aren’t we not perpetuating the same cycle of fear and guilt that has always been our biggest obstacle and merely expanding the given fear and mulish mind set in the process.

Therefore, perhaps fearing the unknown should transfigure into embracing the unknown with caution- as the earlier quotation suggests. Indeed, probabilities and possibilities of the unknown are vague, nevertheless, encompassing fear in the process would only cause further and likely detriment. Pure knowledge must be able to withstand the test of doubt, so they say…and thus, perhaps ~fear of the unknown~ is but a mere feeble illusion.

After Midnight

As most of you may know, I have a problem sleeping at night. My self diagnosis is that I suffer from insomnia. I’m normally awake wondering aimlessly around the house with no clue or direction of what to do. Sometimes if I’m lucky, I manage to learn new things about various ~stuff~…and today- just happens to be one of those days. Therefore, allow me to share in the knowledge and realization that I have attained;

i) Trying to trim your beard at 12.10am into a new style that you may have foreseen in your head…will only lead to disaster.
ii) I look funny with a mustache. *bring on the shaver*
iii) Watching Sportscenter for the third time in the space of five hours can be rather boring.
iv) Scaring your blind grandmother that you’re a ~burglar~ may not be as humorous as first assumed. There’s a high possibility that she will genuinely believe you…and turn fearful.
v) The fusion of (one sachet) lemon tea mixture with orange juice cordial does not go well.
vi) If you microwave cheese for the duration of 1 minute (in the hope to make dip for your chips)…it will consequently become ‘rock solid’, and you will have to throw the plate away- as there’s no way to clean the plate.
vii) (while throwing the plate at the outside bin) Kingsley’s next door neighbor may very well live a “healthy lifestyle”. Their bedroom light is still on at 2.45am. *wink*
viii) If you look closely at my carpet- you can see ~faces~
ix) I can only last for 2 minutes on the ab king pro (in one go)
x) My bedroom fan needs cleaning.
xi) Trevor gets grumpy when I start to sing…as my singing disturbs his sleep (he begins to mumble a sentence which ends with the words “enough la”)
xii) I feel there’s something missing/lacking in my life.
xiii) I have never attempted to fill in the “about me” section on friendster with information ~about me~…
xiv) Jumping as high as you can in the effort to touch the beams of the wall, results to a sprain leg.

Well, there you have it!! A fascinating and enthralling peek into the interesting night I endured. I think there’s a live football game going on now…so off I go~!! Cheers~!!

Right from Wrong…

In life, I have been taught that one should always speak his mind…to stand up and boldly profess his beliefs. As long as he has validity as a sword and conviction as a shield, any feasible battles that lie ahead are but mere formalities, as honestly and truthfulness will forever triumph. However, should we now face a circumstance where honestly and truthfulness is but a mechanism for blemish and distress…how would we then go forth in accreting a matter of such esteem. Do we set apart in disguise or do we go out with full force and make our feelings known, regardless of the reparations that may follow. If the opposing party was a rival, someone to whom we have already discerned as ‘insignificant’ in our lives, then perhaps the potential hurt inflicted on him/her may well be disregarded as we could comfort ourselves in the fact the he/she received his/her just reward. However, should the other be perceived ‘significant’ through our eyes, someone to whom we share a bond of care…be it a love one or a family member for that matter, are we to then address its dilemma in the same light? If we do so, we risk hurting the one’s we love, and would our action thereafter be deemed worthy?

It is important to have a self realization of the lines to draw and boundaries that should not be crossed…as well as to discern the magnitude of earnestly in given situations. It is said that maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself…but should a person continuously give, then perhaps he’ll end up scarifying his own principles. Being imperfect beings, it is quite impossible to enquire self satisfaction and satisfy others around us in one go…and perhaps, the two may never coexist (well, maybe not in every situation). Therefore, in the effort to stay true to oneself and establish character; I shall try to distinguish on when to appear ‘altruistic’ and when to portray ‘selfishness’…and hope to illustrate honestly and truthfulness in the process. Aristotle once said, “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way; this is not easy”. Keeping these words at the forefront of my mind, I set out with the hope to accomplish and fulfill my objective to the best I possibly can.